Dating gave up
I’d been sexually active with Matthew for almost a year and I was also missing the intimacy I’d had with him.
Over the six months I was on the dating sites I was contacted by around 2,000 men although about 60 per cent were scammers.
It’s hard when men are simply not nice and treat you like shit. The guys that expect you to put out on a third date. The relationships I had been in weren’t the best for my self-esteem.
This kept happening to me while I was single and I finally got fed up. Every guy I casually dated, or flirted it up with was fun… I’ve learned from my relationships and don’t regret them.
This didn’t leave much time or energy for my personal relationships - they didn’t last.
I had cancer in 1998 and after my recovery I decided in 2007 to move from North Sydney to a small village in the Blue Mountains mainly for financial gain.
Until they realized they had to put in effort and actually get to know me. Every time I felt like there was something wrong with me. But, instead of walking away feeling loved, I felt teased, mistreated, angry, and hurting.
It wasn’t worth waiting for them, and they soon left. The guys had used me for what they needed, and when I was no longer of use to them, they left.
It’s amazing being the only person I have to impress. You don’t have to rely on a guy, and he can’t ruin your amazing day.
By then I was semi retired, it meant I could travel more and spend more time on my writing.
I was quite lonely as I had no family or friends close by.
I subsequently spent most of my adult life looking for love and security. Finally, I found financial security in the Advertising Industry - it was very demanding.
I was also still paying a mortgage and had my two teenagers to manage.