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But, equally, there’s nothing wrong with a woman picking a man up for the date either.

In 2018, it’s totally fine to just meet at the restaurant.

And if you’re over 40 and re-entering the dating pool after a long absence, you might find the new reality jarring—and that many of the things once considered “romantic” are now seen as “creepy.” To make sure that doesn’t happen to you, here we’ve compiled all of the wildly dated and totally old-fashioned dating rules that once were great but today you should avoid at all costs. And to learn all of the seemingly dated but still relevant rules of courtship, check out 40 Old-Fashioned Relationship Tips That Still Apply Today.

Back in the day, women were taught that if they really wanted to hook a man’s attention, they should turn down his first few attempts to secure a date in order to make the man feel victorious when he finally gets a “yes.” But this is actually terrible advice, because it makes it seem like courtship is a battlefield in which men are knights and women are conquests, and sends men mixed signals about whether or not “no” actually means “no.” And for more on this, learn Why Your Days of Playing Hard to Get Should Be Numbered.

In fact, some women today may insist on splitting things evenly, because allowing a man to pay makes them feel like he’s expecting something more.

Now, let’s be clear: there’s nothing wrong with being old-school, and some women think it’s a nice gesture when a guy pick up the bill, so there’s no harm in offering to pay.

Even something as simple as answering a phone call may be something she wants to avoid at all costs.

And for more on this, see how this New Study Says Older Men Want Women to Make the First Move.

And if a woman does later tell you that you should have just “tried harder,” feel free to remind her that it’s 2018.

Not only is it no longer taboo for women to ask a man out or send the first text, but there are also a lot of men (especially those on dating apps like Bumble) who actually prefer it when a woman takes initiative.

These messages help her navigate everyday choices and, more importantly, decisions on her love life and more important issues she will face in her early twenties.

Her future self knows all too well that choosing to eat all the junk food she wants or dating some deadbeat will be something she regrets in the future.

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